tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post117628998693547808..comments2023-07-07T02:33:03.901-07:00Comments on Hell & High Water: In which I piss off my SAHM readersUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-69800458887291370562007-10-26T23:00:00.000-07:002007-10-26T23:00:00.000-07:00AMEN sister!!I LOVE your commentaries. I have 4 k...AMEN sister!!<BR/>I LOVE your commentaries. <BR/><BR/>I have 4 kids and work part time, during school hours, (best of all worlds). I can't stand people who make their life choices, and then proceed to parade around campaigning for their choice, as though trying to convince themselves it was the right one. (like the ASS, for instance) <BR/>You go girl!Mike & Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02762861094747764197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-52739822548642339842007-08-12T17:38:00.000-07:002007-08-12T17:38:00.000-07:00My husband could never understand why I didn't wan...My husband could never understand why I didn't want to join the local preschool moms club and spend a bunch of time at the swingset listening to annoying women comparing their infant/toddlers with other ones. My eyes would start to glaze over and I would have to get out of ther pronto before I alienated all the SAHM's there. I have done it all, been a SAHM, been a part time SAHM and am now a WAHM. They are ALL hard you just do what you have to do. To be honest, I found being a full time SAHM the hardest because it was so freaking boring. There are only so many games, books etc that you can use to entertain the little ones and I longed for an adult to have an actual conversation with. I ADORE MY KIDS but I am an adult and need that part of my brain stimulated too.OHNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03856294075428012923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-8388679347068378032007-08-10T21:12:00.000-07:002007-08-10T21:12:00.000-07:00"explain why some (notice I say some here) SAHM's ..."explain why some (notice I say some here) SAHM's find the need to justify their position all the time?"<BR/><BR/>Because they haven't experienced the particular brand of joy that comes with being beaten to a pulp by corporate America, that's why.<BR/><BR/>I've been home, and I've worked. Home is better, hands down. I can clean three bathrooms, do six loads of laundry, go to the supermarket and be rarin' to go out on the town. But a day chained to my desk, eyes squinting at the computer screen, boss snapping at every turn, turns me to mush.<BR/><BR/>Home is better. End of story.Third Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06310395341252295955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-33211259907209498982007-08-08T12:51:00.000-07:002007-08-08T12:51:00.000-07:00P.S. email me andreaeatherton@hotmail.comP.S. email me andreaeatherton@hotmail.comAndreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03789004679231213602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-14070983374209811972007-08-08T12:48:00.000-07:002007-08-08T12:48:00.000-07:00You know that my DH and I will be in a similar sit...You know that my DH and I will be in a similar situation as you and your DH. I will go back to work, and he'll be a semi-SAHD, working on the weekends and evenings. So far, I haven't gotten any snarky comments, but I am sure we will. And, as usual, I won't be able to come up with anything snappy until well after the comment occurs. Most of my friends who have had children before us (okay ALL of my friends have had children before us) work, so I don't think there will be any of that uncomfortable conversation. BUT, the church we go to is chock full of SAHM's, so it's something we need to be prepared for. I figure, as long as one parent is home, then it's all good. I would go out of my mind being a SAHM. My DH is excited about his role, and I know our child will be well-adjusted and loved.<BR/><BR/>But for the record, I am sure being married to a former punk rocker, our son will have a mohawk as soon as he can ;)Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03789004679231213602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-13223142076792827682007-08-08T12:31:00.000-07:002007-08-08T12:31:00.000-07:00eff her - and you know what i always say "if the m...eff her - and you know what i always say "if the mom is happy the kid is happy."Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04275708537867627681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-5197476214739813082007-08-08T06:22:00.000-07:002007-08-08T06:22:00.000-07:00I'm not trying to hog your comments section, but I...I'm not trying to hog your comments section, but I just wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog yesterday. Your experience going through adoption and getting to learn about the happy conclusion and beyond has definitely provided some positive reinforcement for me that my "plan B" could be a great option.Samanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02799401502134619497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-35139504530710659872007-08-08T04:56:00.000-07:002007-08-08T04:56:00.000-07:00Oh yea, something to look forward too:)The SAHMs I...Oh yea, something to look forward too:)The SAHMs I've met here so far seem to be of a similar breed...<BR/><BR/>I loved your post, and I had to laugh at your 'not a waitress voice' good for you.<BR/><BR/>My guess is that she is very insecure in her own position as a wife, and about her previous employment, hence the need to brag. I do think that you were much more restrained than I would have been.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-81874666509198826052007-08-07T21:12:00.000-07:002007-08-07T21:12:00.000-07:00That entire story made me laugh and mad all in one...That entire story made me laugh and mad all in one. I just posteda story of multiples "asses" that made me mad on my blog. Some people! Just happened to stumble on your blog :-)<BR/><BR/>MichelleChris Sapphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10893227983448878937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-37548774871071319262007-08-07T18:51:00.000-07:002007-08-07T18:51:00.000-07:00That kind of conversation/situation is my worst ni...That kind of conversation/situation is my worst nightmare. I hate, hate, hate people that have to know so much about everyone in their vicinity so they can compare it with themselves.<BR/><BR/>I don't have any children but I already have heard a lifetime amount of my baby did such and such by this age and how about yours? from working in Preschool/Tot programs. It can make me dizzy with boredom.<BR/><BR/>I don't get the whole comparison thing - at all. I mean, it is one thing to dish with a good friend/family about your baby's milestones or concern about the possible delay in the milestones of an acquaintance's baby(only out of concern of course ;-/ ) But this whole group thing? I just don't get it. Baby group sounds like a complete nightmare - I so don't want to be spending time with people just because we both have babies. I am not friend's with people because of any other personal belonging (please don't freak out - I know babies are much, much more than that but if you look at it in that light - what kind of weirdo way is that to select friends?)<BR/><BR/>Whoo - lost my point somewhere in there...Oh yeah. We get parents telling us that they envy us our work - and you know what, I bet they do sometimes. We do get to go to the beach, the wavepool, the amusement park, outside every day -- but, we also have tantrums, arguments, personality conflicts, bullies (kids and parents in all of these categories!) lice, illnesses, children's tragic home life situations that we have to try, futilely, not take home with us at night, regulations, bosses, inspectors, reports, paperwork etc. etc. Day in and Day out. Just like all the little and big things that are a part of their job. But I just smile and agree that yeah - we are looking forward to a great day and I hope they have one too.<BR/>Because if we go down that road - even I will be shaking my head and looking for a new job!<BR/><BR/>I think Bezzie is right - single parents have really got it rough, because even I have co-workers to turn to when things get too much in the moment.<BR/><BR/>My dog was potty trained at...oh wait, she still goes in the house sometimes - never mind!<BR/>:-)Miss Scarletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03900248654880388707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-77862020516502331742007-08-07T17:30:00.000-07:002007-08-07T17:30:00.000-07:00OY. I don't really discuss staying home. I don't r...OY. I don't really discuss staying home. I don't really discuss much because I don't get out. But honestly, no one wins this war. No ONE. Both jobs are equally hard in completely different ways. <BR/><BR/>What gets me is the families that have a parent stay home and then resent it. I hate that. If you want your spouse to work, then put the kid in daycare and have them get a job.<BR/><BR/>I happen to be in a good situation. My C knows we both work hard and either of us degrade or downplay the others stress. That is how it should be. And with "the A" F her....she is one of those chicks you see at the store and put head down and keep on keeping on!Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02849935046970438989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-19645944903178830442007-08-07T13:14:00.000-07:002007-08-07T13:14:00.000-07:00I would have been right there with you!! I dread ...I would have been right there with you!! I dread the day when I have to hang out with other moms because of that crap you just described. I've always liked being around men more than women (mostly because the women talk about their "oops" pregnancies, and infertility has left me kinda bitter about stuff like that, ya know).<BR/><BR/>Orignially, DH and I were planning on him being a SAHD, but because of his career taking off, the likelyhood of me losing my job because we're adopting, and other stuff, it looks like all be the SAH parent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-21375784944323524222007-08-07T12:33:00.000-07:002007-08-07T12:33:00.000-07:00You go girl! I don't know how you restrained yours...You go girl! I don't know how you restrained yourself. I probably would have gone off on her...fishing club or no fishing club.<BR/>I've done all three options...full-time, part-time and SAHM. I have my preference, but it's just that, MY preference. I wish women like her would quit comparing things and just do what they think is best for their family. <BR/>(Alright, I'm stepping off my soapbox now.)Tamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06381915866366125201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-79690412610237256312007-08-07T12:11:00.000-07:002007-08-07T12:11:00.000-07:00i think you're hilarious. and right. i haven't f...i think you're hilarious. and right. i haven't figured out whether i will work or be a SAHM. i think there is pluses and minuses for both. i'm the same in social situations. the competitiveness and "my life sucks more than yours" conversations drive me nuts!A Room to Growhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16184264258344196034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-69234512264628101002007-08-07T11:23:00.000-07:002007-08-07T11:23:00.000-07:00I usually try to stay out of the SAHM discussion. ...I usually try to stay out of the SAHM discussion. But, it SOOOO rubs me the wrong way when people go on and on and on about how hard it is.<BR/><BR/>I work 4 days a week and let me tell you, I LIVE for my weekday off each week. Of course, I'm not complaining about the income I generate during those 4 days I work either, so I fully understand there are good and bad sides to all situations and everyone's is unique. I like my job, but I like my kids more, and that one week day I spend with them is my favorite one all week. I wish it could be 4 home days, 1 work day, same income....if only.<BR/><BR/>And, like you, I probably wouldn't have been able to hold my tongue any longer with that woman either. Funny, does she have any idea who she's messing with, Starfish? (meaning of course, that unbeknownst to her she gets to be immortalized on the internet as THE ASS). ohhh, you were so smart to make your blog all anonymous and stuff. ;>Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00992203896914180674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-21818468775309654182007-08-07T10:32:00.000-07:002007-08-07T10:32:00.000-07:00Can I be there when you do finally hit her upside ...Can I be there when you do finally hit her upside the head. Just give me a heads up so I can grab some popcorn and a coke.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01198865194061711110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-16527694619815175192007-08-07T10:23:00.000-07:002007-08-07T10:23:00.000-07:00I had a similar situation a few weeks ago with the...I had a similar situation a few weeks ago with the who-did-what-and-when crap. Kudos to you for not hitting that woman upside the head with a brick.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-46909289234027160762007-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:002007-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:00I think my foot would have "slipped" under the tab...I think my foot would have "slipped" under the table a few times to give The ASS a swift kick in the shin. The first kick would have come after she called me "Honey." God, I hate that!<BR/><BR/>As a part-time SAHM, I've had a bit of the best of both worlds. I've been able to escape to work a day or two a week, and stay with the kids the other days. There is no doubt that being a SAHM is difficult. It can be exhausting and at times you feel like you never get a break. I much prefer the days when I work (which are also exhausting, but at least I'm doing something that is my own). While being a SAHM has perks that no job does (like being able to go to the beach on a Monday), I would never wish to be a SAHM full-time, mostly because I miss being around adults and discussing things that have nothing to do with children. I think when you are so immersed in being a mom and a wife, maybe you loose a tiny bit of who you were before you entered those roles. Perhaps that is why The ASS has such a chip on her shoulder?<BR/><BR/>I also never do the comparing thing about kids. It seems so pointless, since my kids are perfect. ;) <BR/><BR/>Anyway, my hat's off to you for your restraint. The ASS has no idea how lucky she is to have escaped your fist!Jennihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01411980588192653910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-88588462317166094272007-08-07T08:23:00.000-07:002007-08-07T08:23:00.000-07:00Damn, I don't know when my son crawled for the fir...Damn, I don't know when my son crawled for the first time. But he did count from 3 to 9 this morning on his own and he's 2 months shy of 3. Do I get a sticker?<BR/><BR/>I gotta say I have the perks as a parent. Sure I chase a very active toddler around all day long, but the trusty husband, he has to look at boring financial numbery stuff, drive all over hell's half acre to do office reviews and put up with corporate brainwashing. No thanks. I did that once. I'll take the beach any day.<BR/><BR/>I give you big credit for being the working parent. And big wig corporate fancy pants at that.<BR/><BR/>Doesn't matter if you work outside the home or are the stay at home parent. Each job comes with its downfalls and perks.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14031192870889190777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-26969923056939390312007-08-07T07:50:00.000-07:002007-08-07T07:50:00.000-07:00I am sooo pissed right now. Just kidding!!! :)Real...I am sooo pissed right now. <BR/><BR/>Just kidding!!! :)<BR/><BR/>Really, she sounds like a beyotch and a generally insecure person with a not so great marriage. It just sounds like she was projecting those issues onto anyone who would listen.<BR/><BR/>It is my PERSONAL conviction that a parent should be the primary caregiver. For me, handing my child off to some just out of high school, barely gets more than minimum wage, daycare worker 8+ hours a day is just not going to cut it. If I was going to do that, I wouldn't have had children. (Not judging others choices, just MY feelings about MY child.)<BR/><BR/>I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think it's awesome that BT can be a SAHD! Sure, it is not the most conventional set up, but someone has to make the money and someone has to take care of the baby. Which parent does which is not a big issue in my mind. <BR/><BR/>Sure, being a SAHP is hard sometimes. You do feel underappreciated. Sometimes by your spouse, sometimes by your kids, sometimes by society that does not measure success by a happy, well-adjusted family. There is no one giving you a raise or a promotion if you do a good job washing 10-million loads of laundry or changing dozens of diapers. But as you mentioned it has many perks. I love staying home and feel blessed that we've been able to make it work.<BR/><BR/>As I'm sure you can attest being a WOHP is not easy either. <BR/>You have different challenges to face. It's not a matter of which job is harder or easier.<BR/>Being a parent is not easy all the time. period.<BR/><BR/>And you know, I would love to talk non-baby stuff but it is just easier to start up the baby talk around other moms. It's something you know you have in common. It's just like people who talk about their jobs. Right now he IS my 24/7 job so it's what I mostly have going on right now.<BR/>Still, some adult conversation would be a nice change. :)mama khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05070909433011566246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-621351809789067712007-08-07T06:18:00.000-07:002007-08-07T06:18:00.000-07:00Don't put us all in the same category at the ass! ...Don't put us all in the same category at the ass! LOL. I think SAHMs and working moms both get defensive because we worry that others judge our choices. I worry that people think I have less value as an interesting person because I am a SAHM now. But the competition thing is silly. And I agree - why can moms only talk about their kids? Why can't we have conversations that don't revolve around poop and naps? I miss people assuming I wanted to talk about other things in life!Michelle Smileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01423308673171062647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-87608832181204489532007-08-07T06:03:00.000-07:002007-08-07T06:03:00.000-07:00People are always complaining that there lives are...People are always complaining that there lives are the worst blah blah blah.. Getting in competitions, please thats not one I want to win!Dirkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17420823812790173292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-55159854669754986632007-08-07T05:24:00.000-07:002007-08-07T05:24:00.000-07:00I wish that women could all not feel so competitiv...I wish that women could all not feel so competitive about whether or not they work. It's such as shame that women feel forced to justify their position, whether or work or stay-home, and everyone ends up feeling damned-if-you-do or damned-if-you-don't. No one expects dads to have their life solely revolve around children, but women still seem to be forced to make this choice. It sounds like the ASS has some pretty conflicted feelings about her role as a SAHM, and her method of dealing with them is to take out her anger on anyone else not following her path.Samanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02799401502134619497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-45472655966487406622007-08-07T04:29:00.000-07:002007-08-07T04:29:00.000-07:00I'm a WAHM (which to many is a SAHM anyway) & I re...I'm a WAHM (which to many is a SAHM anyway) & I really don't like getting together with other "mommies" & discussing the kids like that's all that's important, either. I hate to admit it, but like you, I honestly don't care when someone else's kid crawled. I can barely remember when mine did. And some people may accuse me of not loving my kids like they love theirs because each & every milestone isn't recorded in a baby book somewhere & I don't talk about them nonstop, but I just assume that grownups like to talk about OTHER things besides kids all the time. Sorry, you've really touched a nerve here. I was a lot of other things before I was a mom. Am I happy to be able to work at home? Oh yes! Is it a hard job? Sure. But maybe not as hard as digging ditches in this 100-degree heat.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23114430.post-51240589058366578602007-08-07T04:03:00.000-07:002007-08-07T04:03:00.000-07:00That woman sounds like a first class asshat.....Go...That woman sounds like a first class asshat.....<BR/><BR/><BR/>Good point about being defensive... I can relate to that.. I am still finding my niche in this SAHM role and do feel the need to sometimes explain myself..you are right.. we are all in this together<BR/><BR/>Good postLaurihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01734353279885248086noreply@blogger.com