Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I am officially a mommy blogger....

Many times I post comments on blogs where I dont really "know" the author. New blogs or ones where I am usually just a lurker. I am always concerned about what post they will see when they follow my link back to my blog. "There's only one chance to make a first impression" as the saying goes. Will they read it and decide I'm an idiot and never come back? Are they infertiles who will be turned off by all the pictures of seamonkey? Ultimately I know that I have no control over that sort of thing. And mostly I don't really care what other people think - but I would be less than honest if I said that I didn't want a new person to click here and think I was not your typical mommy blog-fabulously funny- must add her to my bloglines right now kind of blogger.

So it's with much trepidation that I present you with my very first mommy blog poop story.

Last week, I was giving Seamonkey his nightly bath. I was thinking about how I haven't been taking much video lately, so I get the camera to take a little footage of him in the tub. Tub time is a particularly fun time for seamonkey, he's very animated and talkative so it's great video fodder. So I'm taping him...la la la....and he's swirling around the tub and slips a little so that he is kind of laying down in his tub (we put his tub inside our regular tub) and he gets all quiet and glassy eyed. I assume you see where this is going. I will spare you the actual video, but here's the audio:

Me: What are you doing?
Me: You better not be pooping.
Me: Are you pooping?

Me: UGH YOU POOPED IN THE TUB! GROSSSSS!!! BEEEETTEEEEEE!!!!!

At this point I put the camera down on the counter, still filming, and forgot about it. So you then hear me and BT debating how best to remove offending fecal matter and next steps. You can clearly hear wet wriggling baby making unhappy noises. Ultimately, BT decides to get the cat litter box scooper. He cleans and disenfects the tub while I hold the baby, unwilling to let his poop water ensconced body touch anything else until he can be rewashed. His skin was a little pinker than usual by the time he was in his pyjamas.

Fast forward to last night. Boy in tub. Boy laying back in tub and splashing really really hard - snow angel style. Screaming, laughing, waving arms, water everywhere. He got himself very worked up. Really worked up. Again. No floaters, just brown water. LOL Sorry I know that's TMI but you need to really get the visual.

Beeeeeeteeeeeeeeeeeee
What?
Guess What?
He didn't
He did.
WHAT. THE. HELL.

I was laughing so hard I almost lost my own bodily functions. Which was making seamonkey laugh hysterically which just made me laugh harder. BT was not so amused.


I am so playing that video at his wedding.






24 comments:

Jill said...

Smiling...

Wear your poop story as a badge of honor - and the what can be for people who are struggling with the fertility issue.

We have not had bath poop (knock wood 1,000 times over)... But to have it on video - that's a treat!

Lori said...

Play it for his prom date and he may never get a wedding.

Oh wait, you WANT someone else to take care of him, eventually.

Welcome to the mommy blogging world.

Rob, Dana, & Billy said...

I think I will be able to handle a "solid" episode. The not-so-solid, I'm calling my mother-in-law because I know my husband won't clean it up either!

Beagle said...

What great future bribe fodder!!

(Hey, maybe you can win AFHV or somthing. The $10K prize money would make a nice addition to a college fund!)

Rachael said...

You just earned a badge on your mommy scarf. Wear it with pride.

Elle said...

Ahh, welcome. We greet you with open arms. And to get it on video. Now that deserves a prize.

Dana said...

Not just one great story but TWO! Yes, you must show those videos and tell those stories even before the wedding! He will love them when he is oh about.........17! He'll think it's funny when he's young but at 17 you're embarrassed by everything! Thanks for sharing that one. It's great it's on video too!

ruth said...

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type...You've got black mail material for years to come there.

Something for me to look forward to :)

~Crystal said...

Wow, caught on video!!! That IS one (er--2?) special poop story!!!

LOL

I don't think I've had a poo story to bless my blog with... the Princess has not blessed the tub, and probably won't now that she's 3 (We brought her home at 1). Her baby brothers have both done it once. I guess I just never wrote about it hehe I probably should have, though, as the earlier incident involved me. (Ew) Yes, when they were very tiny I sometimes bathed with them. We had 2 baths that night....

Barely Sane said...

Ahhh haaaa haaaa - now THAT is funny!

Yup, you will for sure know which girl is "the one" if she can watch that video and still come back for another date.

Samantha said...

I love the image of the cat litter scoop at work! Who knew how having cats would come in handy!

Bezzie said...

Fertile or Infertile--nothing beats a funny poop story! It's poop! What's not funny about poop!! That was hilarious!

Lori said...

I must admit I've been reading your blog for a while, just never left a comment. My sister, Rachael from alwayswanted4 got me hooked. I find your posts very entertaining. The first post I read of yours was the letter to your new assistant which had me cracking up. I've been reading ever since. Your poop story reminds me of when my niece puked down my shirt one time and I was completely grossed out, Rachael said if I couldn't handle that, I wasn't ready to be a mom. That was 9 years ago.

mama k said...

haha
as a fellow mommy blogger, I find that story hilarous. ;)

Wendy said...

I just love a funny poopie story! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!!!!

Don't forget high school graduation for airing the video....

jeneflower said...

Funny story! But only because it wasn't my child who did that. I am glad you have a great sense of humor!

O.k. I hesitate in saying this, but you mentioned about how first comers might see your blog and what they would think-initial impression and all- and I think of course that they will think it is fabulous- but I am embarrassed to tell you that when I first saw your nickname seamonkey I read it seamon-key. Which can be possibly disturbing for a child's nickname- so just to warn you that there might be other idiots out there like myself.

Tricia said...

at least he's regular.

Tiff said...

hahahahahaha!

Chebbles' Mama said...

The kitty litter scoop was a brilliant idea!

Now that Chebbles is almost 2, I've become something of a veteran of the tub/baby pool poops. The first time she did it, I was pouring bleach on the tub, the mat, all of her bath toys -- so much trauma!!

But now that it happens about once a month, I'm so much more blase about it. I find myself reaching for the poop with my bare hands, and draining the tub, then just showering her and the tub off. Gross, I know, but standards have lowered!

Jenni said...

Ewww... that liquid poop story way beats my puking in the mouth one! I'm so glad you caught it on tape though. Blackmail footage like that may come in handy someday. :)

Flicka said...

So glad I finally got a lurker to de-lurk! Here I am, checking out your blog for the very first time ever, gathering all sorts of first impressions. Nervous yet? :-P

I'm adding you to my blogroll under "Been There." Say hi more often, won't you?

Andrea said...

Oh man, something ELSE to look forward to. First @ssplosions, and now brown water. Awesome.

But thanks for the laugh. This sleep-deprived Mommy is about ready to pee her pants from laughing so hard. I need to get some sleep. Bad.

LaLa said...

OK...you left me a comment, I linked back and THIS is what I get?? LOL

Cat litter scoop...hmmmmm That is a great video for the wedding but you can go ahead and screen it here for us to enjoy.

katd said...

I laughed so hard while reading this. We haven't experienced the poop in the tub yet, but sure as shooting as soon as Lily hits the bath, she pees in it. What do you do?? :)
Isn't it part of the fun of parenting to save videos like that for use when you deem fit? :)