Which do you want first?

The good news or the bad news?

Ok good news first:
We don't have to re-do our prints, so we are just waiting for official approval from the orphanage.

Now the bad news:
We were told we have to go BACK to Dr. Evil and pay him MORE money to confirm that when we get home, we are still not insane and that our in depth clinical review is still valid. I can't believe I have to give him more money. It kills me.


Thanks so much for your comments on my last post. I re-read it and had to laugh out loud. I think I must have been smoking some pretty strong crack. Register twice?? What was I thinking?? I liked the suggestion of just registering for everything and then deleting stuff on-line when we know the gender. However I think the more likely scenario will be that we won't really register until we get THE CALL. I neglected to remember that I have won medals in endurance in the sport of shopping. I'm sure I can run through a baby store in no time flat, especially when I'm fueled by the excitement of our assignment. Thanks for smiling and nodding at the crazy lady and letting me rant on incoherently. It's why I love you guys.

On the gender neutral thing...nah, can't do it. It's like asking Picasso to create his next work only using a beige crayon. Well, not exactly, as I am not Picasso, but you get the idea. Being known for my creativity, there are big expectations for this room, and I intend to deliver! Blue greens in an ocean theme if it's a boy and pink/brown touille if it's a girl. Don't even try to dissuade me, I'm just ridiculous when I get an idea in my head. I'm sure all your gender neutral rooms are totally adorable. I am just a nut case. (registering twice! ha!)

So question for you. We have been asked to go on a family vacation over the Thanksgiving holiday. It would be from like Wednesday to Sunday (4 nights), and we'd be going to Europe. The price is a bargain. There is a chance that we may get THE CALL prior to Thanksgiving, although we have no idea how likely or unlikely that is. Do we go? Do we book it and buy travel insurance in case we have to cancel? Do we book it and if we have the baby, by a baby bjorn and take the baby? Do we not go because what are you crazy you don't have enough going on in your life right now? Part of me says no, but part of me says, Girl, this is the last time you will go anywhere in a long while without a little person attached to you. We've put off so much of our lives in the last 3 years because we were sure we'd be pregnant. Now I want to say screw it. Oh and wait, don't they say that the quickest way to get a referral is to book a trip, and Murphy's Law says it will come during that exact time?

Thoughts?

Out of Touch

Boy, internet service was down on Friday, and we were busy all weekend so I feel like I have been so out of touch with all of you! I have to really get caught up on all my commenting.

Saturday was a day of running around doing errands. Saturday night we hung out with our neighbors which is something we don't do often enough. One couple has a baby who must be around 9 or 10 months old. She was excited to hear about the adoption because now her son will have someone to play with. Most of the kids around are older. She had the coolest monitor. It was like the size of a cordless phone and had a small video screen on it. So we were sitting in another neighbors yard and she was able to keep tabs on the baby sleeping next door. Very cool. Gots to get me one of those thingies.

Yesterday we went to the last of our required education sessions. It seems that two other couples have their documents down in Colombia also. Not sure what this means in terms of us getting a referral. Same status as before I assume...could come in a few months, or may have to wait until next year. Surprisingly I am okay with whatever it is. We've waited this long, a few more months certainly won't kill me.

The session was held at the house of a woman who adopted two beautiful children from Colombia several years ago. She showed us the video of the presentation of her son. Holy cow I couldn't even watch it...it was so emotional. I think I was the only person who reacted that way, everyone must have thought I was nuts. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it!

Of course I am the only crazy person who doesn't have a nursery ready either. I don't know what it is, but I just can't do it. I think maybe next weekend we are going to register (I guess at Breeders R Us, UGH) for some of the major necessities. We'll also pick out some boy and girl things so that once we find out we don't have to scramble around. I wonder if I can do two separate registries, boy and girl and then just ask them to delete one once we know. Anyone ever do that? I know I am totally obsessing over girl vs. boy, but being a crafty type, I am very particular about color and theme. I can't even concede to painting the room a neutral color. Or knitting anything for the baby! How crazy is that?? Yes, every day that goes by a few more brain cells jump ship.

That's it for today...nothing exciting...mostly just letting you all know I am still alive. See you in the comments...

Wow that was quick!

It's there and on it's way. I thought it would stop in a bunch of interesting places along the way, but I guess the direct route is best! Dont you wish this tracking had ALL the activity related to the package? Like "Read with enthusiasm by orphanage director" and "Happily stamped APPROVED" and "Matched the perfect child" and "Scheduled date to make THE CALL"???

To those who like to play along at home....

The package has left the agency and is on the way to Bogota. Let's watch the damn thing fly around the planet shall we?

We have a slight problem with the way we submitted our FBI cleared prints, so we will probably have to redo those which really sucks, but I guess in the scheme of things it's not too bad so I won't complain (much). At least the documents have been sent.

Also, two pieces of good news to share:

Hanazono got her I171H! Yes Finally!! One more milestone down!!

Kaiya (mama k) gave birth to a healthy baby boy! Please go wish her congratulations, even though she is one of those breeders, she has been a wonderful support and she really "gets it".

More babble from my frazzled mind

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. It's overwhelming, really. Some of the comments I really appreciated:

From Julie: "if you are taking any kind of meds (tylenol, benedryl etc) find out the baby's weight right before you leave and check w/your pediatrician about dosages. (Great advice! Do you have a blog Julie?)

From Amy: "'listen'--all human beings have rhythms, have communication sounds...simply listen to silences, to grumbles, to squeals...they all tell you something..." (Yes! But if only my heart would stop pounding in my ears!)

From Jill: "Wouldn't it be awesome if her/she ends up enrolling at columbia in 17 years? " (Yes, but can you say scholarship??) (...and I notice you typed her/she by mistake...you think that means I'll get a girl??)

From Jenny: Man, you better start getting ready sista. (Amen, can I get a witness.)

Sonya had some questions:
Will you have a referral before you travel?
Yes, we will be told the gender, age and medical condition of the child. We will be able to speak to the nurse about the child upon receipt of the referral and whenever we want during our wait to travel. We will be emailed with a picture and then the entire referral packet will be mailed to us.
What age are most of the children at adoption?
Colombia typically places younger children with younger parents. Couples under 38 can adopt a 2 year old or younger. The older you are, the older the child you are allowed to adopt. We have asked for a newborn which I am assuming is on average 3-6 months old. We are told that the orphanage has a high placement of babies so there aren't many toddlers available.
Do you travel with a group from your agency or on your own?
We travel on our own, but there could be one or two other couples traveling at about the same time we are.The place where we will stay is just for adoptive parents so there will be couples from all over the place with us.
Is there an equal chance of adopting a boy or girl?
Yes, I think so. The orphanage asks that you do not choose a gender for your first child. So we don't know what we will get. I wish we knew, but it's okay that it will be a surprise.

I'd like to tell you that I am a little calmer now, but well, then I would be lying. I did reread the education materials (what I call the Big Book of Scary Lists) and did manage to break it down to things I will have to worry about first (getting a visa) second (packing) and third (what to do when we're there). I appreciate the offer of packing lists, but I think that would send me over the edge (except for you Erin, you, I need). I am the type of person that ALWAYS packs at the last minute. It forces me to focus and make decisions. I assume this time will be no different, except I will probably have purchased most baby things ahead of time. I also need to go shopping for clothes for me, which luckily is therapeutic.

The document packet was sent off today. DH practically had to pry it out of my hands. And though I know he is a responsible adult, I still found the need to tell him to be careful with it and to guard it with his childless little life. Now of course I have dreams of cargo planes crashing or the agency lady's kid spilling grape juice all over it or something. I'll let you know if we need to start tracking the package.

Now I know why you guys blog so often as you get close to the end. You need an outlet for all the swirling crazies in your head. I think you'll be hearing alot more from me now.

Okay, Deep Breaths Now...

I totally freaked out. Yes, I did the happy dance after I took the mail out of the mailbox and *thought* I saw the Dept of HomeLand Security address in the pile of papers, calmly placed the pile on the counter and slowly went through each piece telling myself not to be disappointed if I was wrong. The happy dance did involve a little jumping and woo hooing for sure (Not red shirt kind of dancing but still a decent effort). Then I snapped a picture for posterity and skipped downstairs to the office to post the good news. It all went down hill from there.

First, blogger is RIDICULOUS. I know free is free but yeesh, it is so frustrating not to be able to post pictures (or anything for that matter) when you have something important to show! So all aggravated I decided to skip that and instead read over the materials for our next education session which goes over the next stage of this process. I started to totally. freaking. panic. How on earth was I supposed to remember all of this? There are lists upon lists!!! Things to bring, things to buy there, contact names, fees to pay, gifts to give, court dates, forms to sign..aaahhhh!!! Is it not stressful enough that I am going to be given ownership of a live human being as soon as I get there??? I got really REALLY cranky. Just ask my husband, oh wait you can't because I snapped his head clean off (unfortunately for him his response to my crankiness is always to get mad at me...not exactly good for his health...you'da think he'da learnt by now).

The thing about Colombia is, when you get there, your baby is presented to you fairly quickly. From that point on, for all intents and purposes, you are the official parents. Therefore, care of said child is now YOUR reponsibility. Now while that is a very good thing for many obvious reasons, it is also overwhelming because you basically have to bring (or buy when you get there) everything to take care of a brand new baby for several weeks.

Cause the other "thing" about Colombia is that there is a long in-country waiting period. Because you must be seen before the courts, and because the assignment of your court is by lottery, you could wait several weeks. Some people have waited 2 weeks, some 6 weeks. It's a crapshoot. This does not bother us, because a) our jobs are cool with it; b) we have no other children to worry about c) no matter how long the wait we are pretty much guaranteed a kid at the end and d) we could use an extended vacation in a country that has a rainforest.

But, having never taken care of anyone but myself for 30 odd years, I am more than a little frightened. No running to mom(note to self: ask mom how she feels about traveling to South America). Granted, those adoption people know all of this, and will have lots of experienced baby people on hand to help, but it does not for one second alleviate the hyperventilating that starts when I think about it. I am going to seriously drag one of my cousins out to help me do some of this baby survival kit shopping. Gah.

Okay so what are the next steps here? To be honest I am not totally sure. Now that we have the I171H, our dossier (they call it the "document packet") will be overnighted to our agency either tomorrow or Thursday. Assuming everything is in order (note to self: go to church and light a candle), they will overnight it to the orphanage. From there we wait for a referral or "assignment". I have no idea how long this takes. I am assuming (hoping!) that it will come within one to three months, but who knows. Once we get THE CALL we will know the name, gender, age and health info of our child and soon thereafter we are emailed a picture. Then we start packing and running around like lunatics. We will travel within one to two weeks of THE CALL. That's when we start learning REAL QUICK LIKE how to keep a baby alive and in good health. We wait around, knitting, sight seeing, smiling at spanish speaking government officials, signing papers and eventually GO HOME WITH THE BABY (assuming of course we were successful in the maintainance of good health thing).

Thank you all so much for your words of congratulations. And thanks for your comments on why you chose the program you did. It was truly fascinating to read. It's amazing how we are all led down this path in different ways. And as usual, thanks for all the support, it is so unbelievably critical to my sanity.

Lastly, thanks to Erin, who reminded me that the SUPER HUNKY John Leguizamo is from Colombia. I should have my application rejected for not knowing that. Heh..just kidding.

Questions?

Proof that I171H waiting damages your brain

We are adopting from Colombia not Columbia
Although a cute little frat boy might not be a bad way to waste time (just kidding honey!)


Email volley between me and DH regarding the aforementioned Jeep Stroller:

I think your sister meant this
Why because it's $29?
Exactly.
PRICEY........I don't think that was it. This is it. Or this
YES EXACTLY.


Interesting
Colombian
People


A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Colombia; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.