Thursday, November 30, 2006

We are three!

Hola from Bogota!

It took me a while to get an internet connection here, so I'm sorry I didn't post sooner. Right now, I am sitting here typing in the living room of our hotel, and our beautiful new son is sleeping. But how we got to this point, is quite the adventure.

Wednesday morning was uneventful, we had actually gotten everything done in time, and left for the airport on schedule. We got on our Delta flight with no problems. We thought everything was smooth sailing, but uh...no, the fun was just beginning. Our seats totally sucked, we were in the LAST row, with NO window, in front of the bathrooms, in very squooshy seats. My throat started hurting and I was exhausted. We asked twice about our connection, because we took off late. Twice we were told we would have plenty of time. So when we get off of the Delta flight and go to Avianca to check in, imagine my surprise when the agent looks at me like I'm crazy, and tells me she thinks we are too late to make the flight! After some pleading, and frantic checking, she decided that maybe it was possible to make it. She decided to escort us RUNNING through the terminal. We did make the flight, but we were told our bags may not have made it. I'm thinking okay, well I'll just have to meet my son in a pair of jeans and a ratty hairdo - oh well, it's not like he won't see that again! Avianca, thankfully is a wonderful airline. We got hot towels, a great meal and a decent movie (you, me and Dupree). And, we were told the bags did in fact make it, yay!

We got off the plane and made our way to immigration. A long line not helped by the fact that I had to pee really badly. We got through that and ended up in the baggage claim area. Oh my GOD what a nightmare that was. Total chaos. People running around in all different directions and NO ONE speaks english. And no one cares that you do not speak spanish. I was finally able to figure out that I needed to fill out a form to allow us to leave with our bags. Once I got the paper in english, I filled it out and we moved out into the main terminal. All I remember is seeing this WALL of people standing outside the doors. They don't let anyone inside like they do in the US so everyone is outside, pressed up against the barricades. We spotted our name on a sign and found our driver. As we waited outside I noticed that it was a beautiful night. Kind of like an early spring night, a little cool, but nice fresh air. There were lots of trees.

We are supposed to stay at a place called El Refugio, which is a kind of bed & breakfast especially for parents adopting Colombian children. Our driver tells us that we will be unable to stay there for the first night, because some of the couples at El Refugio have been delayed. He takes us to another hotel where a room has been secured for us. Except when we get there, it hasn't. They have no room either, and they have secured a room at a different hotel. So we lug all of our baggage back down to the car and go to the new hotel. It was wedged between some stores, and it was all dark when we pulled up. Our driver had to speak into a speaker for a good 5 minutes before they opened the gate and let us drive in. The room was just okay, kind of skanky, but we were so freaking tired by this time, we didn't care. And what were we going to do anyway? So we lay down and try to sleep, try to enjoy our last night with no kids. We both slept okay, but only for a few hours at a time. We woke up at about 6 am and just sat around and waited for the orphanage to call and tell us when we would be picked up. It was sheer torture just sitting around and waiting. At least the tv had CNN and FoxNews, and even some movies in english. Finally she calls at 10 and says the driver will be there at 11:15. Another freaking hour to wait!!! Evenutally the clock hands tick all the way around despite my stares willing it to move faster, and the driver arrives. Here we go!

The orphanage is in another part of the city...more industrial, poorer I guess you would say. Just different from the urban city area that we are staying in now. If you have ever been to New York, it reminds us alot of Brooklyn or Queens here. Croweded streets, lots of stores and apartment buildings, and big office buildings. Anyway, we are dropped off at the orphanage and we are met on the second floor and escorted into a waiting room. We hand over the outfit we have brought to dress the baby in. There we meet another couple from NY who is there to adopt their second child. We meet the nurse, and she goes over his medical information again and his feeding schedule (thank the good Lord the kid drinks Similac). After a few minutes the other couple is instructed to stand up because their baby is coming! Their cameras and video camera are taken by the staff so they can document the event. In comes an adorable little baby girl with a whole lotta hair. Everyone's crying and taking pictures. Okay, now it's our turn!

So hubby and I are standing up in the appointed place holding hands. "Here he comes!" we hear. I start sobbing, I can't believe this day, this moment is finally here. A group of people turn the corner, and in the middle of it all, they are holding up the most adorable little boy I have ever seen in my life. All I kept saying was "Oh my God he is so beautiful!" over and over. He doesn't take his eyes off of me. Even when I hand him to my husband. He was probably like 'What is this crazy lady's problem?" We sign a few papers, and buy a case of formula and we are let free! Back into the cab to go to El Refugio, and no car seat! Our driver was very good though, he went very slow. Back at the hotel we got to change him out of his hot sweater, feed him and have lunch ourselves. We meet some of our fellow guests. We have met one couple from North Carolina who are very nice. Unfortunately for us, they are leaving Saturday. They are the only other people who speak english here. The maids speak spanish, and all the other guests are French. This should be an interesting stay. Thank God I have enough spanish to get us by. I have a new found respect for all of you going to Russia, Vietnam and China. We don't get a translator!

The only other problem we had here is that today we found out our medical letters had expired a few weeks ago. So the orphanage arranged for a doctor to come to the hotel and give us a quick exam. It was painless, and not too expensive. Just another crazy thing we had to deal with. Boy, you really have to be a flexible person to deal with this process!

So today we have just been enjoying our beautiful boy. He is very comfortable with us, he did not cry once. He is very alert and curious, he doesn't like to be laid down where he can't see what's going on. He likes to be held, and he likes to be spoken to. He is very smiley and doesn't really fuss. He eats pretty easily, although we threw him all off schedule today with all the excitement. We have spent most of the day just staring at him and trying to comprehend that we've been deemed worthy to be parents to him.

Tomorrow we intend to hand around with our NC friends for their last day, and maybe venture out to the various stores. I want to get my camera out into this fascinating place. It has so much character here.

Time for bed now. Please note that this post was just to give you an update. I read it back and it is boring as hell. I'll be wittier after I get some much needed sleep!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Adios Amigos!

We leave here in just about a half hour. We're all packed, the house is clean, and we've said goodbye to everyone we know. I am doing better today, yesterday I was a mess most of the day, every time I pictured myself getting the baby I sobbed (good thing a crazy crying woman is par for the course on the NYC subway). My stomach is still upside down but that's to be expected. If all goes according to plan, we will be presented with our baby tomorrow morning. Keep on the look out for an update.

Still struggling with the name, I am hoping when we see him we'll know.

Okay, let's roll!!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Starfish family...you are the first to arrive

For winning this leg of the race, you win a no-expense paid, adorable little boy.

Seriously folks, this is like my own personal episode of the Amazing Race. My husband and I had to drive to the airport last night to buy our tickets in person before midnight or we would lose our seats. Thankfully we got them, and they only cost us $118 each for taxes because my husband had enough frequent flier miles to cover both round trip tickets! SWEEEEEET! Yesterday was like a treasure hunt - we split up and conquered our lists, buying last minute baby things, travel items and visa documentation. Today I had to run to the Colombian consulate and apply for our visas. They said I can pick them up tomorrow! What a relief. So we will be leaving Wednesday for sure. I can't even believe it. The den in my house looks like a bomb went off. There are bags and crap all over the place. I need to figure out how to get all of it (or decide if it is not going) into suitcases.

I spoke to the nurse taking care of my baby today, she said he is a "big boy", he eats well, and sleeps well, and is always smiling! Oh man I cannot WAIT to get there! You know, it's funny...prior to getting the call, I would sometimes think about whether we were doing the right thing. Maybe God was trying to tell us that we weren't meant to have children. Oh boy did all that change when I saw his picture. My heart truly skips a beat whenever I look at it. I don't know if it's all in my head, my selfishness of wanting this beautiful child so much or what, but I really do feel a connection to him already. My husband feels the same. It just feels right. And the process, although insanely crazy, really is going relatively smoothly. I am not really stressed out, just anxious about doing everything right and getting there in time. I even registered yesterday! Yikes, what a nightmare, I can't imagine doing that pregnant. We were in BRU for 3 freaking hours. By the end my cousins were dragging me around like a cranky toddler. My cousin K had the gun thingie, and thank goodness she took charge adding all the things I would need..sometimes despite my arguing ("shut up, you do too need a wipe warmer, I'm adding it"). Thank GOD for them, really. My favorite thing is the bedding (I ultimately decided against the babystyle stuff), so me! There is so much stuff to buy, and really, most of it is so big, bulky and ugly. I couldn't decide on a packnplay, or an exersaucer, and I still need to pick a monitor. Their help was invaluable to me, and I don't know what I would have done without them.

Speaking of, I would like to thank you all once again for all of your comments. Every one of them means so much to us. Your encouragement is uplifting. I have tried to write back to each of you, but I don't always have email addresses. And in my fried brain state, in some cases I am unable to connect your blog name with your comment name with your email address. So if you haven't heard from me, it's not on purpose. I thank each and every one of you for your good wishes and funny comments. It is so appreciated.

As I sit here, I am waiting for our IT department to swap out my laptop to one with wireless so I can drag you along with me to the end. Gah!

Friday, November 24, 2006

I survived Black Friday and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

Somebody stop me. I think I have purchased every blue piece of baby clothing in the tri-state area. I went through Carter's, Baby Gap, Old Navy and The Children's Place like the Tasmanial Devil. Must. Buy. More. Onesies. I got some really killer bargains not to mention some really adorable things. Here is the loot, and some of my favorites:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The prince onesie has some significance. You see my family already has one prince. Actually I should say HAD one prince. My brother is the apple of everyone's eye, and while it's true that he is nice looking, funny, successful and kindhearted, well, he is my brother, worse yet my younger brother, and if anyone out there has one of those - well, you know. So the day we found out about our little boy, I told my brother he's been dethroned. He must give up the crown. We will not have a christening, we will have a coronation. Therefore, when I saw this at the store, I had to have it. BTW, the next day my brother informs me that he's been promoted. Promoted? Yes, he said, I am the KING now. Ah, I see.

So I am mostly recovered from our day today. I could barely sleep (that face! those cheeks! a son!) so no sooner did I start to doze at about 12:30...the alarm went off at 3:15. We arrived at 5:30 am and the place was mobbed. Energized by new baby adrenaline, I wasn't too cranky. My companions, K and her sister however, made up for it. Yikes people..drink your coffee and suck it up. I didn't get everything Iw as looking for, but having K there to help me with sizing and styles was invaluable. I took advantage of her delirious sleep deprived state to get her to agree to register with me on Sunday.

I got home at about 11:30 and started making phone calls to get some questions answered. At this point, the only concern is getting our visas in time. I need to find out if the orphanage would be okay with us leaving maybe on Thursday instead, and if the consulate thinks they could turn the visas around in 2-3 days. We did put a flight on hold for Wednesday just in case we do get them quickly. We may also need to get our medical forms updated, but let's not think about that one just yet, okay?. Hubby did a great job today doing some other stuff - buying a camcorder, gifts for the orphanage staff and a kinko's run. Poor guy feels like crap...he has a nasty cough that he is trying desparately to get over before we leave. The doctor says he just needs to drink liquids and rest, but there is no time for that!!

I did crash and burn at about 5:00 though. I tried to sleep when I got home but the phone kept ringing. I got up and decided to start calling the airlines, snapping my husband's head off in the process. Then, the people I had made plans with for dinner totally bailed on me, and I got really pissed. Here I am going through this crazy whirlwind, and I still made time to see them, and they couldn't be bothered. Normally I would rant about this for a bit and get over it. Today I decided that the better way to deal was to sob uncontrollably for a half hour. A little teensy bit overwhelmed and overtired? Ya think? I took a hot shower (so long my palms were pruney), had some soup and a grilled cheese (thanks honey), put on pjs and watched reruns of Entourage. All better now.

Can't wait to continue the retail therapy tomorrow - rumor has it there's some fishy bedding at Baby Style with my name on it.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Alot to be thankful for....

We're finally home after a very long but wonderful day. Did you all have a great Thanksgiving? As usual, I didn't eat Turkey. Too much other good stuff to eat. My MIL cooks for a small army, even though there was only 10 of us. Seriously, listen to all this: Two turkeys (one baked one fried), corn, mashed potatoes, mashed turnips, cauliflower with cream sauce, pearl onions, yams, carrots, and the famous sausage stuffing. I didn't stuff myself too badly, these referral nerves are good for something...not much of an appetite. I had baked a crumb cake for dessert. To show you how much my head is in the clouds, I have made this crumbcake a thousand times, but today? Today I forgot to add the water to the batter and the whole thing burned and was horrible. I had to re-do the whole thing this morning. Idiot. Oh, so might as well give you the recipe, right? Okay but here's the deal. I'm only giving this to you because I don't know any of you personally. If you make this recipe, you are forbidden to tell anyone that it uses a cake mix. Forbidden, do you hear me?? Do not blow my cover here! I promise you, it's killer. I get asked to make this for every single occasion.

Killer Crumbcake
1 box Duncan Hines Yellow Cake mix (Butter Recipe) - Make cakemix according to the directions on the box. Bake only for about 20 minutes, cake should be slightly under done. Make crumbs while the cake is baking: Mix 4 cups flour, 2 cups sugar (all white or 1.5 white, .5 brown), 4 sticks of butter (yes, 4, it's not called killer for nothing), 3tbs cinnamon, 1tsp salt and 1 tsp vanilla. When it is good and mixed (use your fingers) make really big crumbs and cover the underdone cake. Rebake for another 8-10 minutes. Dust with powdered sugar when cooled.

So anyway, back to the day....When we arrived at Jim's parents, his sister wasn't there yet, so we had to wait an agonizing 20 minutes until she got there. When everyone was in the kitchen, Jim hands his mom the baby's picture that we had put into a frame. He says "Here, we have a present for you". She says, "Oh how cute!" like it's just any old baby. Jim and I look at each other. "Um...don't you know who that is?" "No, who?" We start cracking up. "IT'S YOUR GRANDSON". Just like my mom, we get the scrunched up face, like "HUH?". YOUR GRANDSON. IT'S OUR SON, YOUR GRANDSON. That did it. My SIL starts crying, my FIL is a mess. Yay! So it was really great. The rest of the day was really great, no bickering like usual. Me and my SIL got along really well too. She started up with her hypochondria stuff, but I was good and didn't say anything. (The woman has every ailment you can think of. And if you mention one she doesn't have yet, next week she'll get it). Everytime someone mentioned the baby, my FIL started crying again. He is so funny.

After dinner we left and stopped by my Aunt's house to see my cousin K and the rest of her family. They were certainly cheered up by the news of a new baby. My aunt said to us "God has taken one and given us another". They were especially excited that it was a boy. Cousin K already gave me two sleepers and said "It's just a little something, the first of many gifts to come". She is just awesome.

After that stop, we stopped at my other aunt's house, where my mom, dad and brother were. I had given my mom permission to make the announcement to the remaining family members. I am told that during the traditional toast before the meal, she piped up and said "I have something to be thankful for..." and then gave the good news. Apparently his picture was passed around the entire night. When we got there we got lots of hugs and lots of questions. We realized that the next time we see many of them, it will be with the baby! How crazy is that!

Speaking of crazy, I have completely and totally lost my mind. First, anyone who knows me, knows I am NOT a morning person. At work, people tiptoe around me until about 10:00 so as not to get their heads chopped off by my crankiness. Second, tomorrow, as you know, is Black Friday. I NEVER go shopping on this day. I hate crowds, and it's too early for me to pick out Christmas presents. But tomorrow I am going. Not only am I going, but I am getting up at 3:30 AM, so I can be at cousin K's house by 4, so we can be at the outlet mall by 6. I am certifiably insane. I am rationalizing all this by telling myself that I can't really sleep anyway, that they have a Carter's outlet, and a Baby Gap, and I need some shoes for my trip, not to mention a few other gazillion things on the ever growing list I have been furiously making since we got THE CALL. I'll let you know how I make out. And I'll let you know if any shoppers were harmed in my quest for all things baby.

I also have to call the orphanage tomorrow and formally accept our referral (yay!). Every time I look at his picture I am more in love. Everyone has said how much he looks like me as a baby, isn't that funny? I have to book airline tickets, but first figure out the timeframe...leave wednesday or thursday? Estimated time of return? I have to get passport photos taken for the visa. So much to do. Oh, and a carseat. Please give me carseat advice. Send me an email with a recommendation. I know everyone says Britax but what the hell model, and how much are they, and where do you get them?? Remember the baby is about 3 months old.

Okay, got to go get a few hours sleep. I'll post a pic of the loot tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Greetings from Cloud 9

Yes, it's true! We got THE CALL. I still can't believe it, even though it's been 9 hours since we got it. It's been a whirlwind of a day as you can imagine.

So I'm sitting at my desk, trying to wrap up some things before we all leave to go to the company Thanksgiving luncheon. Every year they cater food, set up an unused floor in our building and invite the whole company to eat. It's about 10 minute to 1:00, and we're all supposed to leave at 1:00. The phone rings and it's the agency, and I of course think "ooooh could this be the call?" But then she starts talking about Thanksgiving, and then asks about a fee we haven't paid yet, all nice enough, but made me think "nah, she would have started out with that kind of news". So then she starts talking about something and I think she's telling me about a holiday social event, but the phone connection gets really bad and I can't hear her. We do a 5 minute scene from the Verizon commercial - Can you hear me now - and I manage to tell her I'll call her back. When I hang up I realize I didn't have her phone number. I search around a bit, and then decide to look up the agency website. I get interrupted a few times but eventually get the number and call her back. She was all exasperated when we finally had a clear connection, and she says "what I was TRYING to tell you was that there is a little boy in Colombia waiting for you".
...
...

Uh, come again?

My mind went into overdrive and I vaguely recall her telling me about paperwork and visas, and I finally managed to get out WHAT IS HIS NAME AND WHEN WAS HE BORN. Oh yes, she said, I have that info right here! SO my wonderful internet friends, we are the proud parents of one baby boy born September 1, 2006. I wrote down some chickenscratch with my shaking hands, and I think it says that he is now 11lbs, 7oz. We are still debating on whether to keep his given name...we kind of like it, but it's not all that common. She emailed me his picture and honestly, he is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. I immediately called my husband and told him that I had good news and bad news. The bad news was, that we would have to cancel the Florida trip we booked for Dec 7th. The good news of course, was that he had a son. (A son! We have a son!). I'm not going to post his picture here quite yet, it's still a little early for that.

And the craziest part is, we leave WEDNESDAY! As in THIS FREAKING WEDNESDAY!!! Uh, yeah, we're screwed because we do not have anything ready but I don't even care. All that stuff will fall into place. I will be a shopping fiend this weekend! Note to self: Call and ask when the hell that crib is getting delivered! We do have a bit of scrambling to do to make sure we have all the paperwork and stuff done before we leave. We're actually cutting things really close, so it's going to take some fancy footwork (translation: showing of baby pictures to government officials and begging, crying and pleading to speed things up) but I think it will all work out!

We told everyone we know except for the hubby's side. We're seeing them tomorrow for Thanksgiving, and we want to announce it in person. Tot ell my parents, we had made up a little card that said "You are the proud grandparents of x!" with his picture. I walked in the house and said "you aren't going to believe this" and handed it to my mom. She scrunches up her face and says "Who's X?" Mom, read it again. Still nothing. MOM. READ IT AGAIN. OUT LOUD. Yeah, she finally got it. Seems she thought I was showing her evidence of yet another person having a baby before us. Nope! We had champagne, and then proceeded to call everyone we knew. Lots of screams. Lots of crying.

I'll do a separate post about what the next steps are in the process. AS I said, I have alot to do over the next few days. And, Colombia has only one trip, but it is a long one.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know we will. I have alot to be thankful for, and besides the obvious, I am thankful for this wonderful support community that has really helped me through this whole process. Blessings to you and your families.

Now I need to try to get some sleep!

WHAT?!

"Yes, you heard me. It's a boy."

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Taking Inventory

First, a big thank you to my secret pal. I received a lovely card and an adorable post card from her. Sorry I'm so late in posting the thanks, but they were both wonderful surprises in a sea of junk mail. Thanks for thinking of me. I especially liked the postcard, which had a cute little baby in fishing attire!

And thank you all so much for the great response to my last post. I'm glad that many of you knew exactly what I was talking about. I do admit though, that I don't always feel so optimistic. Sometimes in those weak moments I am still frustrated with the situation. But in general, as I said, I'm in a much better place.

Anyway, I've been tagged twice by both Jill and Lauri (I wasn't this popular in high school) to give you the contents of my purse. I warn you, it's not all that exciting. I also never use the word purse. If anything, I say "pocketbook", but most times I just say "bag" because it is always a very big bulky thing. Commuting to the city requires I keep all my provisions close at hand, in case of..oh I don't know, a national disaster or a blackout or something. Currently I have a big black leather totey thing...I also have a big hot pink bag, but since I am wearing a hot pink fall jacket, I switched off so as not to blind my fellow passengers with all the pinkness (Lauren, you thought you cornered the market on Project Pink, but alas you were wrong). Here goes:

  • Brown bag lunch (eating out everyday here will make you broke)
  • Blackberry
  • Wallet
  • My "coupon pouch" (a small leather zippered thing that holds all my gift cards, member reward cards, coupons, etc)
  • Metrocard (for the subway)
  • 3 pens
  • Chanel lip gloss (it's almost empty, but I can't replace it because the name's worn off and I got it for free originally)
  • Six inch ruler (for knitting)
  • Small ball of leftover sock yarn
  • Two knitting patterns
  • Two expired AC Moore coupons
  • Mets baseball game ticket stub
  • Two work IDs (one for the building, one for my floor)
  • Remembrance card from my uncle's wake
  • 86 cents in change
  • One peppermint
  • Earphones (to my ipod which is home cause I can't get the damn thing to work)
  • Train schedule
  • Three old paystubs
  • A photocopy of a Wall Street Journal article related to my work
  • The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon (I'm reading this week instead of knitting, giving the wrists a break for a change. If you haven't read the Outlander series, you should. It's considered an adult adventure series (don't be fooled by the romance stuff)- full of action, suspense, and just the right amount of romance and smut mixed in. You'll be addicted).
Now isn't that exciting??

Margaret had a great idea to post a favorite family recipe. I think I'll do that next. You too, kay?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Oh Well

So no call. Which pretty much means it's not going to happen this year. Since the average in-country stay is 6 weeks, and since the country pretty much closes down from 12/15 to 1/15, if it were to happen this year we would have already gotten the call. I am a little disappointed, because I really thought it was going to happen before Christmas, and I am usually right about those things! I guess it is partly our fault, because we could have gotten our paperwork in a little earlier. I thought at the time that we were the only people going through our agency and therefore had more time. I didn't know that there were really two other couples ahead of us. Maybe if I had realized that I would have moved my butt a little faster. Oh well.

But don't cry for me Argentina...I'm okay with waiting actually. I was thinking about that today...wondering why I am not freaking out about it. For someone who gets pissed off if she has to wait 2 extra seconds on the express line at the grocery store, you think I'd be throwing a hissy fit. I think I figured it out though. I think it's because I am enjoying my freedom from infertility. The last three years (before we stopped treatment in February) were a complete nightmare. Shots and hormones and baby showers (oh my!) were a constant drain on my mental state. Once we finally stopped treatment, I stopped being defined by my infertility. I went back to being a wife, a daughter, a sister, a boss, a friend. Not at first of course, it took time to remember how to be happy and hopeful again. I could liken it to a hibernation of sorts...I came out of the dark cave disoriented and squinting from the bright sun, and needed to slowly get used to the real world again. It's no small thing. People who haven't been through it don't get it, and maybe I didn't realize myself how bad I was until now, when I can see how changed I am. I've wasted so much time being miserable that it is such a relief to again find joy in the smallest things...watching tv with my husband, shopping for new clothes, going to lunch with a girlfriend (which I did yesterday for the first time in a VERY long time), happy hour with co-workers. I think it's important for me to relish this time, so that I am really ready for motherhood and not weighed down by grief and frustration that plagued me for so long. And while we would have loved to have the baby home for the holidays, we can see the benefit of enjoying one last Thanksgiving and Christmas with just us. We'll be parents for the rest of our lives (whether you like it or not as my mom says!) so another few months won't kill us. I also try to remember that no matter how frustrating this process is, it does not ever compare to the pain we experienced during the treatment years.

I've found myself visiting the infertility blogs much more often these days. I'm not sure why. I feel like I still need to be connected to that world. It's a sisterhood I will always be a part of, so maybe I don't want them to forget me (or me them). I guess I am in a place now where I am comfortable rooting them on. I do feel sad when I see other women clearly still defined by their infertility. Women struggling to decide when enough is enough. I feel that it is my responsibility to offer what support I can, even if it is just to tell them I've been there and yes, it sucks monkey toes, and yes, it's okay to cry until you're numb. Maybe too, some will see that there is life after infertility, that eventually you wake up from a halfway decent night's sleep and not hate yourself. That you manage to get up the energy to do your hair a little fancy, put on that new eyeshadow and smile at yourself in the mirror. That you find yourself singing to the radio more and kissing your husband hello when you get home. That adoption might be the path you were always meant to take, even if the road is a little longer than you first thought.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Happy Monday

(Yawn). Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Yes, I’m just sitting here zoning out into space. What? No. No news yet. Last night there were three (three!) messages on the phone, but alas, they were just various desperate politicians trying to make a last minute plea for my vote for tomorrow. It really is a game of pick the one who will do the least amount of damage and perhaps won’t be indicted for a crime. Rock the vote people.

Things are kind of boring around here. Work is getting interesting…there may be some changes soon that could be a good thing for me..so we’ll see. A co-worker found out that she got her referral from China today! Woo Hoo for her. I’ve got to go get her a card as soon as I finish interviewing someone who, actually, should be here by now. One demerit – late for the interview. Doesn’t look good, pal. You’ll all be happy to know that The Fish is still alive and well, and still very pregnant. And still obnoxious. Aforementioned co-worker said that if she hears about her delivery date one more time she’s going to scream. Thank goodness I don’t have that much interaction with her. Although I saw her in a meeting recently and she looked like someone hit her one too many times with the ugly stick. Even my boss (a guy who never participates in catty crap) turns to me and says “So I guess she didn’t feel like washing her hair today?”. At first he thought she dyed it. Nope. Just greezy.

This weekend was mostly uneventful. I spent Saturday with my cousin K who is hanging in there after the death of her dad. Getting through the upcoming holidays is not going to be easy for them. It was a delight being with her two kids. M who is almost 5 is just the most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen. I taught him a few knock knock jokes and now that’s all he wants to do. The only ones I remember are the ones with the punchlines “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana” and “Olive you too”. If you’ve got any good ones let me know, I’ll be a hit next time I see him. N is 6 months old now and I was only a little freaked out holding her and wondering how soon I will be holding my own! Let’s hope it’s soon so they will be close in age.

Sunday we did some shopping, and I went to return something at a store that rhymes with Falbots and the very nasty clerk with a Napoleon complex said, “What’s the matter with it, it was too tight??” Umm..excuse me cranky pants, but why must you assume IT was too SMALL and I was too BIG?? I actually laughed out loud and looked at my husband who just shook his head. No actually, the jacket was too BIG thank you very much, and just for that I want you to call every store in the tri state area and find the right size for me (Insert sarcastically cheesy obnoxious grin here). Sheesh, what’s with people anyway? She’s not going to last through the holiday season! Speaking of which, not to freak you out but do you realize there are only 7 weekends before Christmas?! YIKES MAN!

Oh! Last week I did go to see Elton John. AWESOME concert. His voice is still so amazing. Okay so he couldn’t hit all the high notes anymore (the “zeen” part of “I read it in a magaz-een from Benny in the Jets is now sung way down low!) but he sang every great hit you could think of. My mom loved it. Of course, I had the obligatory obnoxious people sitting in front of me. You know, the kind that in the middle of a song (slow song, fast song, whatever) raise their beer up and yell ‘WOOOOOOOO!’ for no apparent reason. Over. And. Over. They apparently were there for the overpriced beer. They kept getting up and making these poor older people get up and let them out, then came back with more beer and reeking of cigarettes. Thank goodness they left early. It was almost as amusing as the concert itself!

I still have not done one bit of preparedness for a new baby. I am of the belief that the second I start, it will confirm that the referral will not come until next year. Yes I am aware how ridiculous that is. I am still holding out hope that it will come in the next 2 weeks. Probably not likely, but a girl can dream. On the Colombian Adoption message boards, someone got a referral to my orphanage on Friday, so it’s still possible. So since you crossing your fingers and toes probably won’t help (save it for those out there who really need the prayers) leave your favorite knock knock joke in the comments.

Oh, and you'll notice I've decided to take my name off of my blog. I'm getting more hits than I ever thought I would, and while that makes me very happy, it also makes me paranoid about who might find me!

Happy Monday.