Tuesday, July 18, 2006

And THANKS for all the FISH*....

Thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes! I feel so loved! Jen even sent me a great e-card that cracked me up. It’s so great to have “met” all of you this year. I can’t tell you how much it has helped me deal with all that’s going on. I hope that someday I get to meet many of you in person. It seems only right to hug you all for real.

UPDATE: Please go cheer Jen on as she starts her exciting journey to Russia! The referral that wouldn't come finally came!! Go Jen! Print out all those lists and get going!

Anyway, enough gushing. My birthday was really great. I got up early and went down to the beach by myself. We live about 10 minutes from the beach and is one of the greatest things about living here.This is a real treat for me because if DH came, we would have spent the entire previous night packing up coolers and loading the car with crap we wouldn't use. (There was a neighborhood BBQ later in the day, so he was busy helping set stuff up). I threw some stuff in a bag (wallet, yarn, ipod to be exact), walked to an empty section of beach and plopped myself down about 10 feet from the surf. I took a few moments to breathe in all that great sea air and relax. I tried to reflect a little about this year, and about the future. I took a little time to say thanks for all the blessings in my life, despite all the craziness, and ask for some courage for what lie ahead. Then I got down to business. I put on the ipod, got out my yarn and knit myself silly. This is my version of heaven people, sun, sand and yarn. (Elle if your socks have sand in them, don’t ask questions). I stayed for about 3 hours and then left. Mostly because I had enough, and a little because the crowds started (what's the name of that law that says the number of people who sit right next to you is inversely proportional to the number of empty miles of beach on either side of you?).

I came home, took a shower and then drove over to a local yarn store (LYS for all you knit bloggers) that was going out of business. Scored a huge amount of yarn for very cheap. Very exciting in my world. After that I went to the neighborhood BBQ and pretended it was a huge party just for me. DH and I just crashed that evening, I was too tired to do anything. We are supposed to see Johnny this coming weekend, and the Indian food never did happen. On Sunday my brother and his girlfriend came and we all had another BBQ at my parents house. More good summer food. I can’t get enough of it. DH was very good to me all weekend, giving me lots of time to myself (quiet time helps me destress). He also gave me this:

*okay I was going to post a pic but blogger is ridiculous today*

A beautiful white gold crab pendant with diamonds. I love it to death. Crabs have meaning to me for many reasons (and yes, one is because it represents my sparkling personality, if the crab fits, wear it) so it was very special. And he NEVER buys me jewelry, so I was proud of him for doing such a great job. He's a keeper! The only thing I DIDN'T get for my birthday is the I171H, which I was secretly hoping would come (Rhonda you're not the only one with internal deadlines!). Oh well, can't have everything I suppose.

AND, since you all so kindly agreed with me about The Fish… I have another story for you. If I have to be tortured, you have to be tortured.

Let’s keep in mind with this story that The Fish is thin as a rail and her belly just looks like she had a big lunch (if it wasn’t for the aforementioned flowy blouse, I would never have realized she was pregnant). She weighs about the same as my left thigh. Think 13 year old teenage boy. Okay got the visual? Great, let’s continue…. I was standing in the lobby of the building, waiting for the elevator, and who should walk up, but The Fish. Because my mother brought me up right, I smiled and said hello, and asked her how she was. She said she was just fine thanks, but *sigh* already not fitting in her clothes! She’s down to just t-shirts because *heavy sigh*, nothing fits anymore!!
…..
.........

I stood there, blinking. And more blinking. Thinking, mind racing in fact, to think of something to say. Something that didn’t involve the words starting with F and Y. Something benign and non-bitter. I had nothin’. Now it's an awkward silence and I start to smirk. I was standing with a co-worker, and she smirks and gives me a look like "I dont' got nothin' either". We kind of just gave her that raised eye brow “oh well” face and got on the elevator. The Fish mumbled something about ‘well I guess there are worse problems to have’.

YEAH I’LL SAY YOU BIG MORON! What do you have to do buy a freaking MEDIUM t-shirt instead of an extra small?? Oh the PAIN the AGONY! How do you FACE another DAY??

So I ask you, please, amuse me with interesting ways you would torture The Fish, if it were ever legal or morally correct to do so.

*Reference anyone?

20 comments:

Elle said...

I do believe the reference would be from a Douglas Adams book that I have never read. So long and thanks for all the fish. Somewhere in the hitchhikers guide series.

As for ways to torture the fish... I might have to mill this one over for a while. I am working on ways to ruin the reputation of my social worker at the moment.

Margaret said...

I'm glad you had a good birthday! I neglected to leave a comment in your last post and now I feel badly. So happy belated birthday wishes!

I think you should go all passive-aggresive on the The Fish. Got to Target or something of the sort and pick up a random Medium t-shirt. Bring it to her in a nice little gift bag and say something like "I know you're having trouble finding shirts that fit right now, so when I ran across this I immediately thought of you."

Sonya said...

Your Fish story reminds me of one of my co-workers. Everything is about HER; I mean Everything. Last week another co-workers son was killed in a car accident. It was awful; obviously everyone just felt terrible for her. But the everything's-about-me person actually says to me Monday morning, "This thing has really taken a lot out of me. I just feel these things more deeply than other people." !!!! Gaaaah!

Before I could stop myself I said "Imagine how hard it was for the people it actually happened to." She wasn't very happy about that, but she says lots of equally off the wall stuff that I let go by without comment.

Tiff said...

Sorry about the attack of the FISH....but glad otherwise you had a great birthday! :)

Captain Smartypants said...

I say that you go out and buy a package of XL granny panties and give them to her. Just tell her you were thinking about her 'weight gain' and just wanted her to be comfortable.

MAMB said...

I second some extra large granny panties or an xl shirt for her to grow into. And when she starts getting queasy, make sure you bring in things for lunch that stink up the joint. Think onions or indian food - stuff that will make her turn green. Also talk about icky things like runny eggs and your cat having a hair ball to help her toss her cookies. Hehe...sorry, that is all very evil of me.

Elle said...

leave it to the guy with Captain Underpants as an avatar to come up with a giant pair of underpants.

Classic.

jill said...

i could have swore i answered.. hmm...

well - i think you shoulf really eff with her - by killing her with kindness - she won't know what hit her.

del said...

I'm glad your birthday was nice, but OMG, I thought I was the only person who HATES fishy handshakes!!! Hate it hate it hate it! Thank you for saying it!

Lauren&Marco said...

this chickie has deadlines too!!!
I was wondering what happened to you. HELLOOO....we are waiting too for the I171h. Ihope we all get it so we can have a drink and celebrate!!!

-Jenny said...

Man I hope your 171 comes sooonn!!!

The fish. I don't know. maybe when she gets real big you could give her an x-small tshirt and say good luck fitting back into this?

I love love love the crab! LOVE IT. I have a crabby coffee mug.

SoFlaMom said...

I agree with captain mamb. All kinds of smelly foods is bound to stir up somthing aweful. I don't remember ever being 13 and small. I think I went from a 6x to womens 14 overnight!

SoFlaMom

Amy Lane said...

(glad it was a good b-day) Oooh...about the Fish...the worst part is the perfect comeback...the one that's totally bitchy but so backhanded that she can't hold it against you... something like, "Oh...maybe you can raid Brittney's wardrobe if you get too big for Linday Lohan's?"

Starfish said...

You guys all crack me up!! Well, I am not going to spend any money on her THAT'S for sure, even if it is for granny panties (ha!)and we work in separate buildings so I can't eat nasty stuff in front of her, but I can sure talk about it! I will have to try that one!

I think the best for all involved is if I try to stay away from her as much as possible (Jill, like I said, killing=possible; kindness=impossible). I'll let you know how it goes!

Jenni said...

Happy belated birthday Stephanie! I just found your blog (thanks to Rhonda at Still Waiting). I love knitting too, although all I can really make are scarves. I've begun to instill this passion in my daughter too:

http://pereydaz.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_pereydaz_archive.html

She's already got plans to make everyone scarves for Christmas!

Carrie said...

I feel your frustration with the Fish. My dh is a very thin man and is always complaining that if he doesn’t eat 3000 calories a day weight just falls off him. Yeah! Not gonna get any sympathy from me about that!

Glad you had a nice b-day.

Jenni said...

Could "the Fish" possibly be a reference to Bridget Jones Diary? She mentions a friend whom they call the "jellyfish" because she looks nice enough, but then out of nowhere she stings you with one of her commments. I have a "friend" like that too, so the reference stuck in my head.

Dawn and Joe De Lorenzo said...

Hi Stephanie! Found your blog from someone else's blogroll. Happy belated B-day! We are at the same stage as you...waiting for that approval and we certainly have an internal "deadline" that ticks daily. Of course...all of the questions "when are you going to get your baby?" don't help one bit. So, nice to "meet" you. I'll blogroll you so I can keep up with your progress.

stephanie said...

Jenni, no the reference has nothing to do with BJD. I just call her that because she's icky and she doesn't know how to shake hands properly.

mo said...

Happy Birthday! What an amazing day you had. I laughed about the husband and the car full of crap to the beach because I know how that goes!