Happy Birthday to Me!

So tomorrow brings another birthday. Guess I need to change my “about me” to read 37. I’m feeling pretty good about life these days, although I am still kind of sad that we weren’t able to have a family sooner. Things are finally on the right track, and I’m grateful for that…and I know there are lots of women who have children in their late 30s (40s even) but I feel like I have so much catching up to do. I also feel like I have all this parenting knowledge that I am dying to put into practice already. (Between my SIL and Super Nanny, I’ve pretty much got what NOT to do covered).

I am finding that I am more receptive to other parents and children now. We’ve started to socialize again (no more IF drugs=people actually wanting to be around me); we've spent a little more time with our friends who have 3 kids and I found it easier to interact with them. I called there the other day and her 4 year old son actually asked to speak to me to say hello. It was no big deal to her, but I almost cried! Our other friends have an adorable two year old who doesn’t see me all that much so I was so happy when he let me hold him and even kissed me goodbye! It makes me feel like maybe I won’t be so bad at this baby thing after all! I also don’t glare at moms with kids running amok so much anymore (assuming they’re just being kids and are not over the top obnoxious). I used to hate watching other families, especially when I thought the parents weren’t parenting correctly (see you don’t even deserve to be a mom!). This especially drove me nuts in the RE’s office (Note to all you secondary infertiles out there, don’t bring your kids there EVER. We don’t care if you can’t get a babysitter, it’s just RUDE – Remind me to tell you the time a kid spilled cereal down my leg in the waiting room).

There was one incident recently though, that did piss me off. And since it’s my birthday and I’ll bitch if I want to, you get to hear it.

I call her The Fish. She’s a young little twenty something who graduated from Fancy Expensive Business School with a degree in Snob. And somehow, this makes her all knowing, despite the fact that she has not one shred of practical business experience. She always looks at me with a smirk on her face and speaks condescendingly with an annoying “right?” after every sentence. She was hired because daddy knows the president, and she has one of those weird jobs here where no one really knows what she does or what she’s responsible for. Apparently the primary responsibility is to piss. me. off. On a regular basis. She’s The Fish because she’s bland and pasty and blech. First dubbed as such because of how, upon introduction she placed a dead fish in my shook my hand. (Note to all women out there, for goodness sakes learn how to SHAKE HANDS like a confident woman! Make eye contact and have a firm grip! )

Anyway, she dresses frumpy, has an awful short haircut and wears no makeup. So imagine my surprise the other day when I walk into a meeting and she’s wearing this lacey, flowy, dare I say it, pretty, blouse. Wow, I think to myself, what’s gotten into her? Then I think, Wow, it makes her boobs look big, she’s normally pretty flat ches….. HOLY CRAP that’s a maternity blouse!!. NEWMAN!! After the initial panic, I calmed myself down by telling myself that if all goes as planned, my child will arrive before hers. I know that sounds so petty and mean, and I guess it is, but well, it made me feel better. And in case you didn’t get the memo, this is the year of me.

And while I have since learned to focus on the positive aspects of not getting pregnant, I couldn’t help but think how unfair it was that the second she walks into a room people smile and start talking about due dates and new babies. Perhaps I should staple the I600 to my forehead.

No plans for the birthday as of yet. The only thing I asked for was to see Pirates of the Caribbean in an actual movie theatre (I loves me some Johnny Depp). This is a huge treat for me because DH has the attention span of a gnat and can not watch anything without a remote in his hand, flipping back and forth between my show and –insert stupid show here-. As stated in my previous post, it’s usual something riveting like a show about fighter jets, or golf or lately, the Tour de France. So maybe we’ll do that or not (may wait til next weekend to see it with friends) and maybe we’ll have Indian food for dinner or not, or maybe I’ll sit in peace and quiet and knit…we’ll see.

Oh and a big THANK YOU to Debbie for sending me lots of yarn! The kindness & generosity of bloggers continues to amaze me! See the goods here.